At 5 foot 8, my
Auntie May-Ling is tall, at least by Chinese
standards. She is also regal and strikingly handsome.
When I attended her wedding at Hong Kong’s Peninsula
Hotel two weeks ago she was 71 years of age but had
the figure of someone 30 years younger, a figure set
off at the time by the off-white silk Versace gown given
to her by her future husband on which she had pinned
two pieces from her magnificent jade jewelry collection.
As always, her hair was cut short and brushed back,
a habit she had acquired during her four years at far-off
Wellesley College, from which she graduated in 1950.
When she exchanged her vows of marriage that night,
I knew I had fulfilled a promise made many years before:
I had brought happiness to my Auntie.
Young people are impressionable, and I was no exception.
When I was 18, something occurred which I shall always
remember. My Auntie and I were alone in her Hong Kong
apartment enjoying what you in the West call floral
tea: tea from pods resembling snail shells which, when
immersed in boiling water, burst into flowers. We were
seated in her living room watching a lotus blossom unfold
as if captured by time-lapse photography. The beauty
of the moment gave me courage and I asked her a question
long hidden in my secret thoughts: why had someone so
kind and so beautiful as she never married? My Auntie
didn’t answer; instead, she began to weep quietly.
Ashamed and embarrassed, she excused herself and retired
to her bedroom. When she returned a short time later,
I swore never to ask about this again. Satisfying my
curiosity was a selfish endeavor. But still, I wanted
to know. I suspected that my Auntie was the victim of
unrequited love—and, oh, how wrong my suspicions
would later prove to be! Out of respect for her, I changed the subject. I told
her of my recent acceptance by Stanford University,
of my determination to perfect my English, and of my
desire to become a great surgeon. We spoke of all this
until the sun disappeared. Walking back to my family’s
apartment afterwards, I vowed—perhaps childishly—that
someday I would arrange a marriage for my Auntie. I
thought this would bring her happiness.
And now, looking back upon the grand event of just
two weeks ago, I know I succeeded. But it turned out
that arranging my Auntie’s nuptials was the most
challenging and difficult task of my life—far
more difficult than mastering English or perfecting
my surgical skills. That her wedding occurred at all
is nothing less than a miracle, one which must have
been helped along by divine intervention.
What I am now about to relate to you came to me from
another, and thank the good Lord that it did—for
who would want to bear witness to such horrors?
In March of my senior year at Stanford, I was beginning
my final term—at the same time looking forward
with anticipation to entering its medical school in
the fall. One of my courses, Twentieth Century World
History, was taught by Professor William Bethany Farr,
someone we students all revered. In the third week of
the term he began to discuss man’s inhumanity
to man. He spared no detail. He started by describing
the atrocities perpetrated by the Nazis on Jews, gypsies,
homosexuals and political dissidents. And then he proceeded
to tell us of the rape of Nanking by the Japanese military,
something I had never known about: in December 1937
and January 1938, they had slaughtered thousands of
my fellow Chinese.
Nanking! The city of my late mother’s birth;
where she and my Auntie had been raised. Why had I never
heard of this? Perhaps Professor Farr was mistaken.
Yes, he must be talking about some other place. Not
Nanking!
As if anticipating my skepticism, the following day
Professor Farr brought a scrapbook to class. And there
they were—photographs so horrible I could hardly
bring myself to look at them: pile upon pile of corpses;
severed heads; pummeled bodies; stacks of limbs and
body parts. And then I saw something which changed my
life forever: the photograph of a young girl in her
teens lying on the ground naked in a pool of blood,
impaled by a long ugly bamboo shaft rising from between
her legs. I recognized her immediately: my Auntie! A
sickening feeling took hold of me as I rushed from the
room. In the hallway I began to convulse before finally
collapsing to the floor.
There has rarely been a day since first viewing that
photograph that I have not thought of my Auntie. Oftentimes
during medical school my mind would stray and I would
see her lying there. The pain she must have been in!
The scarring to her body that mutilation must have caused!
I was beginning to understand why it was that she had
never married. I could only imagine the shame she must
have felt knowing that she had been rendered less than
half a woman.
During the summer following graduation from medical
school, I must confess that I thought little of my Auntie.
I was selfishly focused on being accepted into a surgical
residency program, something normally unavailable to
women. But, as luck and hard work would have it, I succeeded,
and, thus, almost 4 1/2 years after first viewing that
infamous photograph, here I was seated alone in a corner
office of the Weinberg Building at Johns Hopkins University
School of Medicine in Baltimore awaiting the arrival
of the chief of its surgical residency program, Dr.
Phillip Galanter. While moving into my apartment earlier
in the week, I had received a call from the medical
school asking me to make an appointment to meet with
him as soon as convenient.
As I glanced around the office, I saw that it was unusually
austere. On the desk there was only a framed photograph
of an elderly couple. Undoubtedly the good doctor’s
parents. Odd—no photos of his wife and children.
And on the wall hung a single diploma: Harvard College,
1948. But nothing else. Not a pen, pencil, blotter or
calendar. Not even a piece of paper. Just then the door
behind me opened and a tall handsome gray-haired man
wearing a white coat entered. I immediately got to my
feet.
“None of that, Dr. Bonnie Lu. If we’re
going to work together, I can’t have you jumping
up every time I enter the room.”
“Sorry, sir,” I said.
“I don’t have much time, so let’s
begin.” He smiled.
“Any idea why you’re here? We don’t
take in many women, you know.” He waited for me
to reply but I really had no idea how to answer.
“Here, take a look at this.” He handed
me a letter.
“Seems Stan Boetcher thinks you’re some
kind of a wunderkind.”
Dr. Boetcher had been my anatomy professor in medical
school and I saw that he had written the letter. I began
to read:
“Not only did she finish at the top of her class,
but I haven’t seen hands like hers in years. I
can’t imagine a finer surgical resident.”
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As I read on, I blushed.
“Well, Dr. Lu, you ready to go to work?”
I nodded.
Thus began my surgical residency at Johns Hopkins.
That first day I was taken to an anatomy laboratory
where, under the tutelage of a staff surgeon, I removed
the parotid gland from three cadavers. While I was working
on the fourth, Dr. Galanter entered the lab.
“So how we doing?” he asked, as he walked
from gurney to gurney examining my handiwork.
“What I thought,” Dr. Galanter said, almost
as if talking to himself. Then, turning to me, he continued.
“You up to meeting me in O.R. number 12 at 6 a.m.
tomorrow morning for the real thing, Dr. Lu? A parotidectomy.
You’ll be doing the operating. I’ll only
be assisting.”
Although slightly afraid, I managed to say that I’d
meet him there. I sensed that this was my first real
test. And I knew that dissecting any organ from a living
person was far easier than dissecting it from the leathery
tissue of a cadaver.
The surgery went well. Dr. Galanter opened and closed,
and I removed the gland. Later I was to learn that the
patient was a famous celebrity whose career would have
ended had I severed or even nicked her facial nerve.
And, fortunately, her tumor was benign.
In the ensuing months, I came to realize that Dr. Galanter
was my mentor and that I would be working closely with
him throughout my residency. We lunched often and it
was not uncommon for us to be together in the O.R. two
and even three mornings a week. And, as is typical in
such cases, a special bond quickly developed between
us. But I still knew nothing of his personal life.
On the third day of November in my second year of residency
I turned 28. To my delight, Dr. Galanter and a group
of my fellow residents threw a birthday party for me
at a local restaurant. I felt both honored and happy.
And at last I would learn something of Dr. Galanter’s
private life—perhaps even meet his family.
But Dr. Galanter arrived alone. Later that evening
after he’d consumed more than a few glasses of
wine, I felt his fatherly arm around my shoulder: “Time
for me to go, birthday girl,” he said. Then he
hesitated. “You know, in all these months I’ve
never seen you out with anyone. Take it from one who
knows, Bon: that makes for a lonely life.” His
voice trailed off as he headed for the cloakroom.
The following spring Dr. Galanter introduced me to
Patrick Wiley, one of Hopkins’s top urologists.
“You and Pat are going to be working together
on a project he and I have a special interest in. He’ll
tell you all about it, Bon.” From the tone of
his voice, I realized that I was entering a new phase
of my residency—and, from what I could gather,
a fairly important one.
“So here’s the skinny,” Dr. Wiley
began. “We’ve got two choices with carcinoma
of the prostate: either we castrate them or we take
out their prostates. Castration doesn’t really
work; at best it only slows down the disease, so I don’t
much like it. Taking out the prostate can be a cure,
but it has its drawbacks: incontinence and impotence.
Only about 6 percent of our patients become incontinent,
but 100 percent wind up impotent—and that’s
what you and I are gonna change.”
“How?” I asked.
“The nerve bundles. We’re gonna take that
little puppy out and leave those nerve bundles intact.
It’s tricky dissective surgery, but I know we
can do it. At least from what I hear, I know for sure
you can.”
“So if the nerve bundles are left behind, there
should be no erectile dysfunction?”
“Correct, Dr. Lu,” he replied, smiling.
“Our patients are gonna be whole men when they
leave here, not half-men.”
Not half-men! It was as if an alarm had sounded: my
Auntie, less than half a woman, and . . . Dr. Galanter’s
special interest in this project. I decided to risk
everything. “And how long ago did Dr. Galanter
have his prostate out?” I asked.
Dr. Wiley looked at me in surprise. “Years ago.
But how in hell do you know about that?”
“We’re very close, sir. I guess you’d
say there isn’t much I don’t know about
him. We just don’t talk about these kinds of things
openly.” I looked up. To my relief, Dr. Wiley
appeared to accept my somewhat evasive answer.
So there you have it: two extraordinarily special people,
each with a secret impediment to happiness. Could I
bring them together? I would try.
Over the next few weeks I began to tell Dr. Galanter
about my Auntie, a beautiful charming woman, a Wellesley
College graduate two years his junior, who, as a young
girl, had suffered a brutal disfigurement of her private
parts—and how this had shamed her into a life
of loneliness. He seemed to understand, even to relate
to what had happened to her. I told him she would soon
be coming to stay with me.
And then I telephoned my Auntie in Hong Kong. “I
need you here,” I said. “I will send you
a plane ticket.” When she arrived I told her of
my mentor at Hopkins who had been rendered impotent
by a surgeon’s scalpel and had chosen to forego
marriage and family. “You must meet him,”
I said. At first she refused. But after my persistent
urging over a period of many weeks, she eventually agreed.
Thus it was that Dr. Galanter and my Auntie came to
know one another. Soon I recognized a friendship beginning
to blossom between the two—a closeness which neither
had previously experienced. Several months later I saw
them holding hands as they walked through the hospital.
It therefore came as no surprise when, not long after
that, my Auntie told me she and Dr. Galanter were to
be married.
My Auntie, Dr. Galanter and I were seated on a large
sofa in an anteroom adjacent to the Peninsula Hotel’s
grand ballroom where the wedding ceremony was to take
place in less than an hour. My Auntie saw me look at
my watch. “There’s more than enough time,”
she said. On the coffee table directly in front of us
a large clear spherical glass bowl filled with boiling
water rested atop a sterling silver warmer. Flames from
the warmer’s candles lapped at the bowl’s
sides. I saw my Auntie reach into a silken sac and withdraw
two small gray objects. She dropped them into the bowl.
“I wanted you here to see our love unfold,”
she said, smiling first at me and then at her future
husband. As if on cue, two magnificent flowers burst
into bloom. Curling upwards, they appeared to embrace
one another.
“We won’t have the luxury of taking our
love for granted, Bonnie. We know that. And we’ll
have to count our blessings each day.” Then my
Auntie took hold of Dr. Galanter’s hand and gently
pressed it to her cheek.
So how do I feel knowing that my Auntie is married
and that I’ve finally brought happiness to her?
Exactly as my wise and learned preschool teacher, Mrs.
Wong, said I would: sated with contentment. “Learn
this proverb well, child,” I remember her telling
me so many years ago: “‘Contentment comes
to the maker of a promise kept.’ So keep every
promise you make.” “I will,” I recall
replying. And, thankfully, with the help of good fortune
and sometimes even divine intervention, so far I have.
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STEPHEN L. KANNE, JD ’61, is
a retired real estate lawyer in Los Angeles. He’s
at work on a novel. |
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| Judges' comments on "My Auntie's Wedding." |
Bo Caldwell: I liked the voice of
this story, and the writing is confident and accomplished.
There are wonderful descriptions (“The beauty
of the moment gave me courage”) and striking details
(“We were seated in her living room watching a
lotus blossom unfold as if captured by time-lapse photography”),
and the plot is fresh and very unusual. I also liked
the restraint of the writing, particularly given the
plot.
Ron Hansen: “My Auntie’s
Wedding” finds its provenance in that folk proverb
that “What God makes He matches.” Especially
fascinating was its linkage of two unlikely horrific
events—a mutilation during the 1937 “rape of Nanking”
and the enfeebling aftermath of a doctor’s prostate
surgery—to join in a lucky and happy relationship a
couple who previously felt loveless and bereft.
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